10/5/10

 
 alright. hello there! this past weekend was a little crazy, and this week has been as well! on saturday i went to a "Pink Party" at Joanie Parker Hair Salon and donated 10 dollars to the american cancer society to get pink streaks in my hair! it was lots of fun.
this is mavis, she is adorable.

 katelyn is lovely.

 marissa likes to laugh.

 camille is mavis's sister! they're the bee's knees

 homecoming week for school consists of this:
monday- nerd day
tuesday- decade day
wednesday- neon day
thursday- twin day
friday- spirit day.

hence the photos!

i intend to write more next time, but for now, read my posts below if you havent.

annd, if you want senior photos taken by me, let me know.

email me at stephlen@mindspring.com

"gray, quiet and tired and mean. picking at a worried seam. tried to make you mad at me over the phone. red, eyes and fires and signs. i'm taken by a nursery rhyme. i wanna make a ray of sunshine and never leave home."

10/1/10

just as a warning, this post may be much more wordy than most. but luckily, i have put photos that have never been posted on here but have been taken in the last few months, so, enjoy those. :)

 oh where would i be without a pen and paper? 

as i look around i see many people. i see people laughing. father and son throw lacrosse balls back and forth, mothers walk with their baby in their arms. i see a father helping his daughter to ride her tricycle, even though she continually veers left into the grass. she falls over on her third venture into the grassy abyss and her father rushes to her side and picks her up and stops her tears. friends are out telling stories and sharing laughter. a little girl and her parents walked by and the girl greeted me and proceeded to ask me how i was doing. a couple sits on a bench and they're all smiles. as the breeze drifts through the trees, the leaves fall and it also leaves goosebumps on my skin.
things like this make me smile.
they just simply make me happy, maybe for a brief moment, but watching others experience happiness and love is awesome.






 happiness can come in so many different forms: spending time with God and worshiping Him, driving down the road with the windows rolled down, feeling the breeze mess up your hair and the music matching the way you feel perfectly, winning trivial pursuit and having bragging rights for the night, watching your favorite football team with your best friends, the moment when you realize just how important your family is and falling in love when you least expect to.

 but the sun makes it's descent and hides behind the horizon and reminds me that with this happiness comes sadness. 


feelings completely lost and confused and struggling with your relationship with God and putting up a wall, making it hard for anyone to get to know you.
getting into a car crash, never wanting to drive again.
not knowing a single trivial fact and miserably losing the game, feeling completely stupid
the feeling after the end of the 4th quarter when the team you had been rooting for loses the game because an interception in the last minute
losing your mom to cancer and the world suddenly stops and everyone else around you is continuing with their lives and you're screaming, but not a single person can hear you. 
having loved someone and then it's gone, leaving you with a huge gaping hole, making it hard to trust again. 

 but trying to avoid the sadness is missing out on the happiness. you lose, the lessons are never learned. getting close to someone is fully setting yourself up to fall, but trusting them to not let you fall or catch you when you do is how it should be.

although you risk sadness, without taking the chance, without that leap of faith, you would have never have found some of the greatest happinesses in the world. life has it's ups and downs. it is not fair.

but don't let the fear of crashing keep you from driving.

the fear of feeling stupid keep you from trying


the fear of losing from playing


the fear of death from creating life


and don't let the fear of being alone keep you from loving. 

there are so many things to learn.
















what's the point of life if you're too scared to live it?

"you're a red string tied to my finger, a little love letter i carry with me. you're sunlight, smoke rings and cigarettes, outlines and kisses for silverscreens. oh, dear i never saw you coming. oh, my. look what you have done, you're my favourite song; always on the tip of my tongue"

goodbye, for now. 


p.s. i found this today. i was in class so i didn't cry. click here i guess

9/29/10

this is my dad. he's cool and we go to waffle house together. it stormed while we were there! it was fun. waffle house is the best by far.
he's really weird and funny and strange. i'm a lot like him. haha.
my friend Torrey likes his mustache. haha. :D

i'm feeling much better! i watched the Britney Spears episode of Glee and now i'm willing myself to get better so i can dance. haha.

i got nominated for homecoming court. haha, pretty exciting, right?


My friend Torrey(the one that likes my dad's mustache) is going to learn the piano part to a song that a love and we're gonna make it the bomb diggity! and hopefully he'll receive the letter that i sent him very soon. (its not my fault i promise! i told my dad to bring it to the mail on saturday but he didn't until sunday, which means it sent out on monday. :( haha sorry torrey. )
i love music.

oh, life. life is very weird.
but it goes on. and you grow and learn.

you grow stronger and you learn to deal with it. nobody ever said life was fair, actually, my dad always told me life wasnt fair, never would be. yes, life can be awesome and great. but things can happen that you didnt necessarily want to happen. luckily i've learned that the person that loves me the most will always be there for me. getting to know God and learning about his unfailing love was not hard for me. accepting that truth and feeling that love is something that wasnt as easy, and i'm still working on that. but the concept was one that i was very familiar with. i've had the best father figure i could ever ask for. he has been there for me through everything and has taught me to be the person i am today.
i look up to him so much. and sure, we are not always on the same page about everything and we dont always agree, but despite my young-adultness, he has looked out for me and has always wanted the best for me. and for that i am so grateful and i hope that one day my kids will have a father that is as great as mine is to me.

hang in there, kid.

you'll be alright.

just dont give up. never give up.

"we laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer
night. nothin' new is sweeter than with you. and in the streets we're runnin
free, like its only you and me. "

goodbye, for now.

9/24/10

goodness gracious. has it been a weird past couple of weeks or what? here's a quick update on the life of me:
- i quit my job. i decided it was time to start living my life. taking advantage of those spare moments and doing things that i love.
- i am in my senior year of highschool. i just sent in my early application to the University of Georgia and visited the campus this past friday and saturday. i love it there. now i guess we'll see if i get in.
- also this past saturday/sunday i found out that i had appendicitis, so i had to get surgery, not microscopic. i was under the knife. i've been out of school for the past week. it hurts really bad to walk, but thankfully i've had some great friends come over and take care of me.

- i was supposed to go to Auburn university this weekend, but my surgery and in-painness kinda made it hard to be able to go.
- its fall now! fall is my favorite season. there's just something about the colors of the leaves and the slight crunch beneath my feet when i step on a leaf. the crisp air and the need for jeans and light jacket. i just love it.
-i've already started fundraising for Relay for Life 2011. i'm really excited about it. :)
-i'm single.



those are a few updates. these are photos from last weekend.

this is my sister Nicole and her husband, my brother-in-law James. he is the best thing that has happened to her. seeing their love for eachother makes me so happy and she has grown so much because of him. i love them both so much and eventhough they argue about stupid stuff and she talks to him in a really high-pitched voice, that's them. thats their love. it makes me a very happy sister, and i hope that one day i will meet someone that she'll say that about.

i love that the sky never looks the same twice.

"i don't know your thoughts these days. we're
strangers in an empty space. i don't understand your heart, it's easier to be
apart...we might as well be strangers for all i know of you now."

goodbye, for now.

09/8/10

hello there, it is wednesday. which means it's almost thursday and then almost friday. so basically, it's almost the weekend and that makes me very happy. today was just a normal day at school and then i went thrift store shopping with a couple of my friends, and i found some great stuff! :)

i think i am starting to like the random blurb of the day, because i have a feeling they all tie together. so, here goes nothing: don't give up on what/who you believe in. if something is meant to happen, it will. sure, its a tough concept to grasp, but it needs to be something we believe. because it is true.

this picture is the result of me speed walking to class from my parking spot in alaska.


these are my friendship bracelets!
this is marissa. we were working on a project/essay for Ap lit. our assignment was to decorate a box and bring it in, only for her to tell us that we have to take it up to people we dont know and ask for them to write a suggestion on a notecard. it was really funny to do. marissa got really good and encouraging and thoughtful ones. i got stupid ones that said things like "i hate my job" and "call this number if you ever go to panama city. i live there =)" kinda creepy. but they were interesting to read nonetheless.

these shoes broke today.

here are some of the good ones from my box.

.

this is annabelle. we sit at lunch together. she is soo pretty and has the best style. she's pretty awesome and i'm so glad to be able to hang out with her everyday

this is kevin. he's pretty strange, but i eat lunch with him as well. haha. he usually listens to our weird/awkward conversations at the table. he probably thinks we are crazy people. i cant say we arent, though.

i was looking through some of my blog posts from last school year. it's crazy how that one thing that was on my mind all the time, still is. it is something that seeps into my mind at random moments, sneaks into my dreams and gives me hope. still hoping everything works out one day, or something like that. its been about 5 or 6 months that it has been an everyday thought. crazy. i'm sure you know how it is. whether it be about something, or someone.

but i hope you all had a good day and have a good rest of the week on the chance that i might not go on a photo escapade this week. if you want any senior photos done, please let me know. email me at stephlen@mindspring.com for prices and stuff.

"i tell my love to wreck it all. cut out all the ropes and let me fall...i told you to be patient, i told you to be fine, i told you to be balanced, i told you to be kind. in the morning I'll be with you, but it will be a different "kind""

goodbye, for now.